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Thread: Online dating fraud-Real Stories from the Field

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    Lightbulb Online dating fraud-Real Stories from the Field

    Recently we got involved in correspondence with a girl on a cyber dating service. The girl, whose picture was certainly more than appealing, turned out to be located in Ghana, which raised enough concerns that we were asked to participate in the exchange.

    Now, it is certainly true that this could be a desperate and attractive young woman for whom anyone in the States would be an attractive alternative, independent of their age or looks. We have certainly seen many beautiful Russian women desperate to escape to here. And we see nothing particularly wrong with this as long as both parties know what they are getting into.

    However, it seemed more likely that this would culminate in a request for money, (we estimated that the likelihood that this was a desperate girl would be around two percent, and the likelihood that we were sending messages to other middle-aged men behind the picture to be approaching 100 percent).

    It was suggested that we might like to come to Ghana to meet her, which was rejected because we were too busy. It seemed impolite, if not inappropriate, to mention in the conversation that men who went to meet women in Africa-and sometimes even to meet them in Europe-often didn't fare so well.

    We eventually reached the point of her suggesting that money be wired to her via Western Union. We suggested that we would spare her the necessity of soiling her hands with cash, and would instead send money to our counsel in Accra, the capital of Ghana.

    The other side said that this was too much effort on our part.

    We pointed out that it was little effort for us, plus the attorney could help make sure all her paperwork was in order, which would help speed the process in getting her here. Plus, it would give her relatives some feeling of confidence in knowing that their little girl was in good hands. The correspondence eventually tapered off. They ended up doubtless moving on to someone more willing to send money, and we ended up with this story.

    However, not everyone gets off so easily. Someone else we know met a woman online and ended up deeply involved-at least on the phone. They chatted on the phone for hours every day, and the woman even called his father and introduced herself as his son's girlfriend. She sent him pictures, and we must say that the girl in the pictures was drop-dead gorgeous.

    Because the son was lending the woman money, the father hired a private detective. As it turned out, the girlfriend bore no visual resemblance to the woman in the picture. One can but hope that a criminal action will help recover some of the $41,000 sent to the woman. But we are not holding our breath.

    Why is it that in the first case nobody got burned and in the second someone did? It was, in fact, the mirror test, rather than cunning or paranoia: The first person looked in the mirror and asked whether, considering his past dating experience a woman who looked like that would be going out with him. Since the only positive answer involved an alternate universe, he called us.

    Does this mean that on-line dating is dangerous? Not more than off-line dating. Many people have met other people this way, and in most cases it has worked out reasonably well for all involved.

    Nonetheless, in online dating, or anything else where something seems too good to be true (as the father of one of our editors found out when he got a letter-with no fine print-from Time Magazine saying he had won a lot of money from them), it is good to remember that, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

    From the case files of: The Lubrinco Group

  2. #2
    Todd Heddleson -'s Avatar
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    Thumbs down On Line Dating

    I have checked out some on line dating services.But not for a date,just to see what kind of 00000 there are out there. I always kept it in the back of my mind, if these girls look as good {as some do} in the picture then why would they need to go on line to find a date? if they look that good they would have guys waiting in line to date them. The ones to stay as far away from are those that start divorced {redflag} w/children {redflag} looking for a man that has good job{redflag} now thats not to say all divorced woman are only looking for a daddy for there kids, But, 95% are. I checked out 4 on line dating services the best one going for a 0000 is E H..... .com. they are the leader {for on line dating 00000} it is based on 29 dementions, the #1 being your walllet. it's kind of like buying a car. The body might look good,have a good paint job,{but more miles then an 87 chevy} buyer beware!!

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    This will always happen. You know what sells? Men, no matter how smart, will always fall for this. There is a far better chance for a hoax than facts. Also anytime you deal with another country, your means of litigatating heads toward zero. You have personally put yourself in a boat with no paddling.

    RT

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralston Taylor
    This will always happen. You know what sells? Men, no matter how smart, will always fall for this. There is a far better chance for a hoax than facts. Also anytime you deal with another country, your means of litigatating heads toward zero. You have personally put yourself in a boat with no paddling.

    RT
    Don't take this wrong {it will only happin if you let it} also another good fraud to stay away from are lonley hart clubs. I went to one, LOL,LOL,LOL,the yongest girl there was 25, the oldest was 78, to young to old. the 78 year old used a walker, the 25 year old only had one eye,and one arm.

  5. #5
    Lori Copaus's Avatar
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    Todd
    The story about the girl with only one eye and one arm is a scary one for sure. Better luck next time right. I for one, have looked into these sites also and agree that if you look that good then why are you posting that you are looking for a date.

    Lori E. Copaus
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    In defense of those who post for on line dating, I went through the local newspaper dating service a few years ago. I am not drop dead gorgeous nor am I ugly, I just don't have the time or desire to go to bars, or any other of the usual meet and pick up places. I met a very nice man, good looking, intelligent, great sense of humor and we had a lot in common. We dated for a year and the only reason it ended was that he wanted a longer term commitment than I did. So...it doesn't always mean that just because you go online to find a date, you are ugly and desparate. There are some very nice looking, genuinely great people out there who just don't have the time for the usual ways of meeting people.

  7. #7
    Todd Heddleson -'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lori Copaus
    Todd
    The story about the girl with only one eye and one arm is a scary one for sure. Better luck next time right. I for one, have looked into these sites also and agree that if you look that good then why are you posting that you are looking for a date.

    Lori E. Copaus
    P. I. Trainee
    hi lori, i'm still looking. but, not on line. {maybe something will change soon} NO one eye one arm for me. thank you for the suport it does help.

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    Todd Heddleson -'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Rose
    In defense of those who post for on line dating, I went through the local newspaper dating service a few years ago. I am not drop dead gorgeous nor am I ugly, I just don't have the time or desire to go to bars, or any other of the usual meet and pick up places. I met a very nice man, good looking, intelligent, great sense of humor and we had a lot in common. We dated for a year and the only reason it ended was that he wanted a longer term commitment than I did. So...it doesn't always mean that just because you go online to find a date, you are ugly and desparate. There are some very nice looking, genuinely great people out there who just don't have the time for the usual ways of meeting people.

    mary please don't get me wrong, i'm not into the bar's myself. i have tryed the lonly hearts clubs, and found nothing, no my standards are not so high they can't be meet. i know what i want and on line some times it's hard to find what your looking for

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    No harm done. I just wanted everyone to know that there all kinds of reasons people do the online dating thing. Thanks for the reply.

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    Todd Heddleson -'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Rose
    No harm done. I just wanted everyone to know that there all kinds of reasons people do the online dating thing. Thanks for the reply.
    thanks mary, maybe some day!

  11. #11
    Todd Heddleson -'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lori Copaus
    Todd
    The story about the girl with only one eye and one arm is a scary one for sure. Better luck next time right. I for one, have looked into these sites also and agree that if you look that good then why are you posting that you are looking for a date.

    Lori E. Copaus
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    I still think we are on the right track, if they look that good why go on line looking for a date?

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    29 dimensions, #1 being money. I guess I won't be going there.

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