May K. Toney
07-03-2003, 08:05 AM
Japan's Dumbest Criminals 2002
By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer
January 4, 2003
Japanese have a reputation throughout the world for being polite. A trait, it seems, that event extends into the world of crime.
A confessed Nagoya robber probably took the propensity for politeness too far when he returned to a convenience store he'd held up to apologize, but at the same time giving police time to arrest him.
At least he went through with the heist - another gracious bandit abandoned his hold-up before it was finished simply because he'd forgotten to wear the mask he intended to use.
Almost as dumb was the would-be bandit who burst into an Aichi Prefecture gun shop with a wooden sword and demanded a weapon. Although the shop owner fought him off without resorting to using any of his products, it's hard not to see the crime was doomed from the start.
Some more consideration was probably in order when another old man tried to pretend his finger was a gun during a hold-up in Tokyo, particularly as there was somebody else watching him go about his business.
If only somebody had been watching the old man who had his hand caught in the offertory box at a Tokyo shrine he may have escaped the ignominy of having to call for rescuers to save him.
Another hold-up artist seems to have mistaken instructions to "branch out" when he used part of tree to threaten convenience stores in Saitama Prefecture.
More thieves found their bellies got the better of them. Like the man who stole a bag of rice failing to notice that it had a hole in it and granules had dropped out to form a perfect trial that led the police directly to him. He was almost as bad as the Kagoshima burglar whose longing for a tipple ended up with him falling into a drunken slumber and waking up to find himself surrounded by police officers.
Other dopes were even worse - they went directly to the police to commit their crimes. Twice, dimwits tried to break into separate Tokyo police dormitories, once in the spring and again in during summer. As brazen as he was brainless was the man who tried to rob a store just meters away from a Hokkaido police station .
At least these guys had the gumption to commit crimes. Another guy gave himself up to the police because he couldn't go through with a planned armed robbery, but ended up being arrested anyway.
Another criminal found himself nicked because of his penchant for knickers. Not content to have successfully burglarized a woman, he called his victim and ordered her to leave a pair of panties outside her door for him. The cops were waiting when he came to collect them. At least he didn't wear the pants, unlike the guy who disguised himself as a woman when he tried to withdraw money from the account of a female acquaintance he had earlier robbed.
(Originally published on December 30, 2002)
By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer
January 4, 2003
Japanese have a reputation throughout the world for being polite. A trait, it seems, that event extends into the world of crime.
A confessed Nagoya robber probably took the propensity for politeness too far when he returned to a convenience store he'd held up to apologize, but at the same time giving police time to arrest him.
At least he went through with the heist - another gracious bandit abandoned his hold-up before it was finished simply because he'd forgotten to wear the mask he intended to use.
Almost as dumb was the would-be bandit who burst into an Aichi Prefecture gun shop with a wooden sword and demanded a weapon. Although the shop owner fought him off without resorting to using any of his products, it's hard not to see the crime was doomed from the start.
Some more consideration was probably in order when another old man tried to pretend his finger was a gun during a hold-up in Tokyo, particularly as there was somebody else watching him go about his business.
If only somebody had been watching the old man who had his hand caught in the offertory box at a Tokyo shrine he may have escaped the ignominy of having to call for rescuers to save him.
Another hold-up artist seems to have mistaken instructions to "branch out" when he used part of tree to threaten convenience stores in Saitama Prefecture.
More thieves found their bellies got the better of them. Like the man who stole a bag of rice failing to notice that it had a hole in it and granules had dropped out to form a perfect trial that led the police directly to him. He was almost as bad as the Kagoshima burglar whose longing for a tipple ended up with him falling into a drunken slumber and waking up to find himself surrounded by police officers.
Other dopes were even worse - they went directly to the police to commit their crimes. Twice, dimwits tried to break into separate Tokyo police dormitories, once in the spring and again in during summer. As brazen as he was brainless was the man who tried to rob a store just meters away from a Hokkaido police station .
At least these guys had the gumption to commit crimes. Another guy gave himself up to the police because he couldn't go through with a planned armed robbery, but ended up being arrested anyway.
Another criminal found himself nicked because of his penchant for knickers. Not content to have successfully burglarized a woman, he called his victim and ordered her to leave a pair of panties outside her door for him. The cops were waiting when he came to collect them. At least he didn't wear the pants, unlike the guy who disguised himself as a woman when he tried to withdraw money from the account of a female acquaintance he had earlier robbed.
(Originally published on December 30, 2002)